We are experiencing Technical Difficulties.

But have no fear, one loyal reader! We shall return to our regularly scheduled heathenism as soon as physically possible.

Unfortunately, due to the necessity of an Internet capable laptop, our physical possibilities are limited to about 2-3 weeks of sparse updates.

We suggest you pray for us.

Ridiculous Stereotypes Live

They do.

I know, I was shocked to hear it too.

Good, if slightly naive, Christian Friend (GisnCF): I've got a job interview tomorrow.

Mr. Agnostic: Good luck!

GisnCF: - scoff of disgust - I don't need luck, I have God on my side.

.... 2 days later ....

Mr. Agnostic: How did things go?

GisnCF: - disappointed sigh - They weren't interested.

Mr. Agnostic: - dry laugh covered by cough - Guess God doesn't do interviews, huh?


Needless to say... we don't keep friends very well.

Fight the fight for FREEDOM

http://www.secular.org/

Welcome to the Justice League for Agnostics!

Granted, they have no power, minimal funds, and an opposition of 90% of the American population...

But we like underdogs.

We should have a parade.

Pet Peeve: Potential

Dear Evangelists,

Here's what we're waiting for you to understand -

Being agnostic means that we don't know what's right. It means that we don't know who god is, if there is a god, what he/she might be thinking, and why we, as humans, exist the way we do.

HOWEVER, being agnostic does NOT mean that we're uncertain. We have heard of you, and your friend Mr. Christ. We've had the unfortunate pleasure of being introduced to your flyers and public service announcements.

Here's where you appear to be lost. Are you ready? Are you sure?

We know.

That's right, those words that we refuse to use for just about any aspect of religious philosophy for their pompous self-entitled implications, I will say them here.

We know.

We know you are wrong.

Even if we believed in your god, we know you are wrong. If we didn't, we'd take the chance to learn it ourselves - without your help.

Unfortunately, we know that you don't know. We know that we don't know. But even more importantly, you don't know.

We are not sitting here lost and confused, missing a part of our souls or desperate for that special something that makes our lives worthwhile and meaningful. We are not (here it comes) potential.

If we had the potential to believe, we would not be agnostic. We would be nothing.

Agnosticism is a full and total faith, just as passionately strong as your own. We believe that you are wrong. We believe that everyone is wrong. Athiests, Christians, Jews, Hindus, Pagans. We believe in a wholly unique set of ideals that consists of only our own beliefs and relies on our own self-mediation.

We are not waiting for you to confront us with the truth and show us the way to true happiness.

Good luck with that though.

This I know - because the bible tells us so

That's right folks, Jesus loves us.

So the most appropriate reaction is to, of course, love him back.

Just like a victim loves it's abuser, we shall do this because we're told to not only take it with a smile but tell them how much we enjoy it.

That's beside the point though, the bible tells us that yes, Jesus loves me.

The bible also tells us to stone our sons for disobedience, submit all will to our husbands and give up our servants as sex slaves once we can no longer produce children.

The bible's a little ambiguous like that.

What if god was one of us?

It's such a good question, I made a song out of it.

Oh, you say that's been done? Well I'll just do what everyone does when something like this happens - unfairly judge my competition.


What if God was one of us
Then by simple mathematics, we, the people, would be equal to god. I think the first thing I'd try is locusts. I've always had a fondness for locusts.

Just a slob like one of us
Well I'd somehow doubt the strength of conviction would be the same. Then again, nobody confronted good ol' Henry VIII about his gluttony, perhaps the fear factor would outweigh the disgust.

Just a stranger on the bus
It wouldn't be too surprising. We worship celebrities, who are just attractive strangers. However slob + stranger makes things more complicated.

Trying to make his way home
Aw, now I feel bad for the poor guy. He stopped to ask for directions and all of a sudden he's being harrassed by billions of people.


Ridiculous. My song was better. Unfortunately, now you'll never hear it. Don't worry though, god liked it. He hears everything.

I underestimated devotion.

We might not win this war.

Just Do It

So we've already proved god exists.

What? That didn't come through in my last post? Hmm. You must have read it wrong.

I guess there are still questions... I mean the evidence is there and all, OBVIOUSLY. We couldn't exist without god. That's like saying that we could live without the internet. We might be able to... but who'd want to?

So the question now is, how do we take that next step?

Lucky for us, with today's modern technology, a simple google search will solve all our problems.

Believe in God

I know - shocking, right?

"So how do you believe in God? It's easy. Accept him."

It's easy! EASY!

Did you realize that? Stupid portion of society that doesn't want to accept the "truth" blindly... How dare they question a set of laws imposed on them by an invisible giant with bi-polar tendenies?

If only they knew it was that easy.

How do you know?

I, myself, ask myself.

Anyone else can jump in at anytime. No? Ah well.

How do you know?

How do you know that an all-powerful being did/did not create in some egotistical fashion a species of weak creatures that mirror his looks to watch like a never-ending soap opera and then punish us for rejecting him?

Gosh that doesn't make that sound good does it... I'll try again.

How do you know/not know that an invisible spirit manifested this entire world out of a stroke of complete imaginative genius and then abandoned us all to destroy each other even when he had the power to make our lives perfect?

Hm, still not appealing is it? Oh, okay, I can do better.

How could you not believe that somebody created us, protects us, loves us, and fights for the justice of good all from an unknown paradise that he really wants us to join him in but he can't just let everybody in because that would be too easy so he created this test known as life to figure out which of his creations he'll just have to use as kindling?

It really makes sense when you think about it. Heaven has winters too.

Our Bible

We have one.

And conveniently, to keep up with our modern times, it was "written" in movie form.

That's right! No Reading! We like that.