Tuesday, November 11, 2008

How could I dare?

How could I dare abandon my Dad-given religion to worship the ideology of the unknown?

Why, old pals, it is actually quite tedious. But as I'm sure you know, I'm sharing it with you anyways!

Here I shall offer you the interweb transcript between my friend & I:


Friend:

So what made you go from being Christian to being agnostic?


Me:

Well, I don't want you thinking I'm trying to convince you of anything in my reasoning (so please keep that in mind when reading this, I love discussing religion but it's a passion for a lot of people and I have no intentions of trying convert people away from Christianity - this is just how I found my own self), and it's kind of a long story, but...

(Insert flame-retardant suit / shield here...)

My first instinct reading anything about Jesus Christ in the bible itself, was that he was misunderstood. From everything I've read (and I'll admit I don't remember every detail and can be completely wrong - but this is my interpretation), he doesn't claim to be the messiah. He claims to be God's son, but then says everybody is God's children, so to me that wasn't proof of anything special. A lot of people use the argument of when Jesus says "I am" as his proclamation, but if I remember correctly, that was only in response to the Roman's asking him "Are you the man they call Jesus Christ, son of God" (or something along those lines) and that's true. They called him Jesus Christ, son of god. They referred to him as the messiah, so even if he was asked "are you the one they refer to as the messiah" and said "yes", it wasn't proof to me that he was.

Then there's the fact that the Christian religion is only 2,000 years old, and the Old Testament is only 1,000 years older than that, making it extremely young in the great scheme of things. To me, if I was going to be right about the christian religion, then I would have to give Scientology a chance, and wonder if maybe the Mormon sect was right.

I don't really look at the bible as anything more in depth than a fiction story based on real life events anymore, because it is a good example of history, but even the oldest stories in the new testament were written 50-60 years after Jesus's death and none of them by the apostles they were named after. Then the fact that the entire bible was written in Hebrew, translated to Latin, translated to English and various other languages (when it's obvious that no language has perfect direct translations) makes me feel that the bible I've always read was unreliable. If I learned Hebrew (and if I still called myself a christian, I probably would just to try it) then I would want to read the bible in its original text to try to understand it better. Even then, though - the bible was written by multiple people, in multiple times, and then rewritten for dispersion by people (who,unlike the god they worship, make mistakes) things could have been written wrong, and we already see the bible contradicting itself in multiple sections about multiple issues. It was then that the bible stopped being evidence in either direction to me.

Then there was the political aspects of religion that upset me. The different factions of Christianity changing the rules to suit their purpose - like the roman catholics and their crusades. Us Americans and our unequal rights for homosexuality (this is a big issue to me, two of my sisters are gay and I won't follow a god that says they're anymore wrong about life than I am). For awhile, I resented my father for trying to instill in us that lifestyle when it obviously hurt one of his daughters so much. I came to learn that it's normal for someone who's beliefs are swaying away from their parents to go through a variety of emotions like that, and eventually I realized that Christianity was a good thing for my father. It changed him into a much better man than he was when my sister or I were growing up. If anything now, I'm jealous that my youngest sisters had him as a better role model.

I came to the conclusion that religion was about the people that needed it, and had very little to do with truth about the afterlife or our creation. People don't necessarily find god because they lived bad lives or are weak in any sense, but for a lot of people that faith makes them into a better part of humanity. My quest for faith in someone else's religion wasn't going to result in anything but depression and uncertainty in me. I needed to realize that I didn't actual believe there was a god, but that that was okay. When I came to terms with that, I began to feel so much more confident and comfortable with myself. And that's why I no longer fit the mentality - "I'm right and anyone that disagrees is wrong" anymore because I'm right for me, and not necessarily right for other people. Christianity is right for a lot of people, and they are no less right about their spiritual beliefs than I am. Unfortunately I do end up butting heads with a lot of Christians about that, but since the US population is somewhere in the 90% christian, it's inevitable. I'd butt heads with any religion that chose to argue with me.

My husband and I like to debate politics and beliefs a LOT, and we'll both take both sides so that's usually an enlightenment to us both on what someone else might feel. He doesn't conform to any religion either, but I have a feeling he believes in a god because he wants to, just not the christian or Wicca gods he was raised with (at least, that's how he conveys it to me)

This actually is only a small portion of what I've decided about my faith and doesn't really touch on what I believe, but it's hard to actually put everything into words. You know you'll always forget something. I've actually been trying to write out my beliefs for awhile, but my thoughts aren't very organized. Now that I have a son, I want him to understand what led me and his father to who we are, and then hopefully he'll be able to make whatever decision he wants about his own religion.



That's right folks, the good people at agnostic diaries actually can maintain a moderate amount of seriousness in dire situations. That's not to say we enjoy it... that polite attitude you might of sensed? Oh, that's part of the unreliability of interweb speak. It's unfortunate you had to bear witness to such atrocities.

We shall be returning soon with more tales from beyond the sarcasm

Friday, November 7, 2008

Coming Soon..

We at Agnostic Diaries Headquarters...
(our living room couch in a suburban pacific northwest neighborhood)

are in the midst of a deeply intellectual theological debate...
(bickering between two old church camp friends)

the results of which will be displayed on here soon for public educational purposes...
(shameless bragging)

at the soonest possible convenience.
(when we get over our laziness complex)

There is a god

And the christians were close, he is half jewish -



And actually damn good looking for a man of his age.


Alright, alright, he is as un-godlike as they come... but since god-like qualities are pretty difficult to acheive without an actualy god... well, we don't blame him.



And yes, it is necessary to repost this.

Monday, November 3, 2008

We're ba-a-a-a-ack!

And we're excited!

In honor of tomorrow's election, we celebrate the opportunity of voting into office a political party slightly less influenced by the overtly religious portion of society...

They still don't like us, but it's a start.

Wednesday, October 22, 2008

We are experiencing Technical Difficulties.

But have no fear, one loyal reader! We shall return to our regularly scheduled heathenism as soon as physically possible.

Unfortunately, due to the necessity of an Internet capable laptop, our physical possibilities are limited to about 2-3 weeks of sparse updates.

We suggest you pray for us.

Friday, October 17, 2008

Ridiculous Stereotypes Live

They do.

I know, I was shocked to hear it too.

Good, if slightly naive, Christian Friend (GisnCF): I've got a job interview tomorrow.

Mr. Agnostic: Good luck!

GisnCF: - scoff of disgust - I don't need luck, I have God on my side.

.... 2 days later ....


Mr. Agnostic: How did things go?

GisnCF: - disappointed sigh - They weren't interested.

Mr. Agnostic: - dry laugh covered by cough - Guess God doesn't do interviews, huh?


Needless to say... we don't keep friends very well.

Wednesday, October 15, 2008

Fight the fight for FREEDOM


http://www.secular.org/

Welcome to the Justice League for Agnostics!

Granted, they have no power, minimal funds, and an opposition of 90% of the American population...

But we like underdogs.

We should have a parade.

Monday, October 13, 2008

Pet Peeve: Potential

Dear Evangelists,

Here's what we're waiting for you to understand -

Being agnostic means that we don't know what's right. It means that we don't know who god is, if there is a god, what he/she might be thinking, and why we, as humans, exist the way we do.

HOWEVER, being agnostic does NOT mean that we're uncertain. We have heard of you, and your friend Mr. Christ. We've had the unfortunate pleasure of being introduced to your flyers and public service announcements.

Here's where you appear to be lost. Are you ready? Are you sure?

We know.

That's right, those words that we refuse to use for just about any aspect of religious philosophy for their pompous self-entitled implications, I will say them here.

We know.

We know you are wrong.

Even if we believed in your god, we know you are wrong. If we didn't, we'd take the chance to learn it ourselves - without your help.

Unfortunately, we know that you don't know. We know that we don't know. But even more importantly, you don't know.

We are not sitting here lost and confused, missing a part of our souls or desperate for that special something that makes our lives worthwhile and meaningful. We are not (here it comes) potential.

If we had the potential to believe, we would not be agnostic. We would be nothing.

Agnosticism is a full and total faith, just as passionately strong as your own. We believe that you are wrong. We believe that everyone is wrong. Athiests, Christians, Jews, Hindus, Pagans. We believe in a wholly unique set of ideals that consists of only our own beliefs and relies on our own self-mediation.

We are not waiting for you to confront us with the truth and show us the way to true happiness.

Good luck with that though.

Friday, October 10, 2008

This I know - because the bible tells us so

That's right folks, Jesus loves us.

So the most appropriate reaction is to, of course, love him back.

Just like a victim loves it's abuser, we shall do this because we're told to not only take it with a smile but tell them how much we enjoy it.

That's beside the point though, the bible tells us that yes, Jesus loves me.

The bible also tells us to stone our sons for disobedience, submit all will to our husbands and give up our servants as sex slaves once we can no longer produce children.

The bible's a little ambiguous like that.

Wednesday, October 8, 2008

What if god was one of us?

It's such a good question, I made a song out of it.

Oh, you say that's been done? Well I'll just do what everyone does when something like this happens - unfairly judge my competition.


What if God was one of us
Then by simple mathematics, we, the people, would be equal to god. I think the first thing I'd try is locusts. I've always had a fondness for locusts.

Just a slob like one of us
Well I'd somehow doubt the strength of conviction would be the same. Then again, nobody confronted good ol' Henry VIII about his gluttony, perhaps the fear factor would outweigh the disgust.

Just a stranger on the bus
It wouldn't be too surprising. We worship celebrities, who are just attractive strangers. However slob + stranger makes things more complicated.

Trying to make his way home
Aw, now I feel bad for the poor guy. He stopped to ask for directions and all of a sudden he's being harrassed by billions of people.


Ridiculous. My song was better. Unfortunately, now you'll never hear it. Don't worry though, god liked it. He hears everything.

Tuesday, October 7, 2008

Monday, October 6, 2008

Just Do It

So we've already proved god exists.

What? That didn't come through in my last post? Hmm. You must have read it wrong.

I guess there are still questions... I mean the evidence is there and all, OBVIOUSLY. We couldn't exist without god. That's like saying that we could live without the internet. We might be able to... but who'd want to?

So the question now is, how do we take that next step?

Lucky for us, with today's modern technology, a simple google search will solve all our problems.

Believe in God

I know - shocking, right?

"So how do you believe in God? It's easy. Accept him."

It's easy! EASY!

Did you realize that? Stupid portion of society that doesn't want to accept the "truth" blindly... How dare they question a set of laws imposed on them by an invisible giant with bi-polar tendenies?

If only they knew it was that easy.

Saturday, October 4, 2008

How do you know?

I, myself, ask myself.

Anyone else can jump in at anytime. No? Ah well.

How do you know?

How do you know that an all-powerful being did/did not create in some egotistical fashion a species of weak creatures that mirror his looks to watch like a never-ending soap opera and then punish us for rejecting him?

Gosh that doesn't make that sound good does it... I'll try again.

How do you know/not know that an invisible spirit manifested this entire world out of a stroke of complete imaginative genius and then abandoned us all to destroy each other even when he had the power to make our lives perfect?

Hm, still not appealing is it? Oh, okay, I can do better.

How could you not believe that somebody created us, protects us, loves us, and fights for the justice of good all from an unknown paradise that he really wants us to join him in but he can't just let everybody in because that would be too easy so he created this test known as life to figure out which of his creations he'll just have to use as kindling?

It really makes sense when you think about it. Heaven has winters too.

Thursday, October 2, 2008

Our Bible

We have one.

And conveniently, to keep up with our modern times, it was "written" in movie form.

That's right! No Reading! We like that.


Tuesday, September 30, 2008

Fighting the battle

We have an enemy.

It is not in the people that have different views from us. As agnostics we pretty much accept that no one person has the same views.

It is not in the people that pity or fear us, for we are not affected by another person's ignorance.

It is when that ignorance seeps through into the rest of our daily lives, then we must prepare for war.

We have an enemy.

The clean-cut Mormon boys with their bikes and their bibles might as well be packing Uzis.

The TV Evangelists with their oily voices and their 80's trapped closets shoot poison arrows through the airwaves.

The petitioners against free-will... well those ones are fairly self-explanatory.

We have an enemy.

And we will fight this enemy with laptop screens to light up the battle fields. We will fight this enemy with our bottle of wine and bag of Hershey's kisses to sustain us. We will fight this enemy in our underwear.

And we will win.

Monday, September 29, 2008

Mondays

We haven't yet decided whether or not we believe in Mondays.

But we most certainly do not support them.

That is all.

Sunday, September 28, 2008

Sunday's Sermon - the truth about god

I could add a couple of deep quotes by noted agnostics of our time... unfortunately that takes a lot of effort to read. And obviously, we're not big readers, or else one of the most famous books in the world might have a little bit more meaning to us Agnos. That's right, Mr. Potter isn't happy about that.

So instead we're going to start in on a series of lectures that will probably continue until I get bored of them. Patience is a particular virtue of agnostics. If you can wait until death to meet your maker (or lack thereof) you can certainly handle a few minutes a day of a deluded person's ramblings.

Speaking of a maker... do we have one?

I'm serious, anybody?

No, really, somebody has got to have this figured out by now.

Alright... I'll forgive you this time, but only because of the mind-numbing variety of options.

- Either there is a god, we know his name, we've got the license number to his spaceship and we're waiting for the carpool.

- Or maybe there is a god, but we don't want to presume we know him. The average celebrity is annoyed with obsessive fans, can you imagine how the big G feels? Everybody always wanting to talk to him and get things from him... he probably just wants a day to relax without all the paparazzi.

- Then again, for all we know, god is a figment of our imagination. Well, not ours, but many people's that's for sure.


So, do tell - how did you know that there is/is not a holy supreme being monitoring our every move and debating with him/herself in a sadistic fashion how best to punish us for our minor indiscretions?

Friday, September 26, 2008


What makes a religion?



Let us refer back to the intrinsic http://www.dictionary.com/


Religion
–noun
1.
a set of beliefs concerning the cause, nature, and purpose of the universe, esp. when considered as the creation of a superhuman agency or agencies, usually involving devotional and ritual observances, and often containing a moral code governing the conduct of human affairs.

(It goes on, but we don't care)


So, let us start with the common question, is Agnosticism a religion?

Does the average agnostic concern themselves with the cause, nature and purpose of the universe? Considering the previous post it is possible to say that agnosticism is based in disbelief which, technically, is a belief in and of itself. Atheism is a form of religion with a belief in nothing. Agnosticism is a religion with a belief in nothing else.

How about when considered as the creation of superhuman agency or agencies? This particularly poses an interesting concept. I think it would do agnosticism a great deal of good to assign ourselves a superhero. I call him Agno-man. He will save the world with his extreme unwillingness to conform to common beliefs. When the world says it is round, Agno-man shouts "Nay!" for he has yet to see it himself. When we spend the millions of dollars to send Agno-man to outer space to prove this fact he may then consider changing his beliefs. Until then, he just doesn't know.

Do we involve any devotional and ritual observances? I don't know about you, but I shower regularly, brush my teeth once a month or so, maybe even work hard if the day calls for it. I'd consider that a certain amount of devotion that deserves its own kind of recognition.

Finally, shall we consider a moral code governing the conduct of human affairs? We most definitely have this. I'm certain of it. Have you ever heard of the agnostic serial killer? Nope. We're a peaceful folk. In fact, don't we all just want to get along? All we want is the freedom to tell you how wrong you are.

So, in conclusion, we count. Sign the parish contract, donate your hard-earned wages, and, most definitely, drink the wine. I expect to see you next Sunday.

Thursday, September 25, 2008


Who am I?



Since so many of us blindly align ourselves with thoughts or beliefs we don't truly understand, I think it's important to define agnosticism.


Per http://www.dictionary.com/

Agnostic
–noun
1.
a person who holds that the existence of the ultimate cause, as God, and the essential nature of things are unknown and unknowable, or that human knowledge is limited to experience.
2.
a person who denies or doubts the possibility of ultimate knowledge in some area of study.


So let's break that down.

1.
Nobody knows. Stop pretending you know. Just because you say you know, does not mean you know.
2.
I don't believe you.


If, when talking to a religious fanatic, your response falls into one of those two categories, then **insert hillbilly accent here** you might be an agnostic.