But have no fear, one loyal reader! We shall return to our regularly scheduled heathenism as soon as physically possible.
Unfortunately, due to the necessity of an Internet capable laptop, our physical possibilities are limited to about 2-3 weeks of sparse updates.
We suggest you pray for us.
Wednesday, October 22, 2008
Friday, October 17, 2008
Ridiculous Stereotypes Live
They do.
I know, I was shocked to hear it too.
Good, if slightly naive, Christian Friend (GisnCF): I've got a job interview tomorrow.
Mr. Agnostic: Good luck!
GisnCF: - scoff of disgust - I don't need luck, I have God on my side.
.... 2 days later ....
Mr. Agnostic: How did things go?
GisnCF: - disappointed sigh - They weren't interested.
Mr. Agnostic: - dry laugh covered by cough - Guess God doesn't do interviews, huh?
Needless to say... we don't keep friends very well.
I know, I was shocked to hear it too.
Good, if slightly naive, Christian Friend (GisnCF): I've got a job interview tomorrow.
Mr. Agnostic: Good luck!
GisnCF: - scoff of disgust - I don't need luck, I have God on my side.
.... 2 days later ....
Mr. Agnostic: How did things go?
GisnCF: - disappointed sigh - They weren't interested.
Mr. Agnostic: - dry laugh covered by cough - Guess God doesn't do interviews, huh?
Needless to say... we don't keep friends very well.
Wednesday, October 15, 2008
Fight the fight for FREEDOM
http://www.secular.org/
Welcome to the Justice League for Agnostics!
Granted, they have no power, minimal funds, and an opposition of 90% of the American population...
But we like underdogs.
We should have a parade.
Monday, October 13, 2008
Pet Peeve: Potential
Dear Evangelists,
Here's what we're waiting for you to understand -
Being agnostic means that we don't know what's right. It means that we don't know who god is, if there is a god, what he/she might be thinking, and why we, as humans, exist the way we do.
HOWEVER, being agnostic does NOT mean that we're uncertain. We have heard of you, and your friend Mr. Christ. We've had the unfortunate pleasure of being introduced to your flyers and public service announcements.
Here's where you appear to be lost. Are you ready? Are you sure?
We know.
That's right, those words that we refuse to use for just about any aspect of religious philosophy for their pompous self-entitled implications, I will say them here.
We know.
We know you are wrong.
Even if we believed in your god, we know you are wrong. If we didn't, we'd take the chance to learn it ourselves - without your help.
Unfortunately, we know that you don't know. We know that we don't know. But even more importantly, you don't know.
We are not sitting here lost and confused, missing a part of our souls or desperate for that special something that makes our lives worthwhile and meaningful. We are not (here it comes) potential.
If we had the potential to believe, we would not be agnostic. We would be nothing.
Agnosticism is a full and total faith, just as passionately strong as your own. We believe that you are wrong. We believe that everyone is wrong. Athiests, Christians, Jews, Hindus, Pagans. We believe in a wholly unique set of ideals that consists of only our own beliefs and relies on our own self-mediation.
We are not waiting for you to confront us with the truth and show us the way to true happiness.
Good luck with that though.
Here's what we're waiting for you to understand -
Being agnostic means that we don't know what's right. It means that we don't know who god is, if there is a god, what he/she might be thinking, and why we, as humans, exist the way we do.
HOWEVER, being agnostic does NOT mean that we're uncertain. We have heard of you, and your friend Mr. Christ. We've had the unfortunate pleasure of being introduced to your flyers and public service announcements.
Here's where you appear to be lost. Are you ready? Are you sure?
We know.
That's right, those words that we refuse to use for just about any aspect of religious philosophy for their pompous self-entitled implications, I will say them here.
We know.
We know you are wrong.
Even if we believed in your god, we know you are wrong. If we didn't, we'd take the chance to learn it ourselves - without your help.
Unfortunately, we know that you don't know. We know that we don't know. But even more importantly, you don't know.
We are not sitting here lost and confused, missing a part of our souls or desperate for that special something that makes our lives worthwhile and meaningful. We are not (here it comes) potential.
If we had the potential to believe, we would not be agnostic. We would be nothing.
Agnosticism is a full and total faith, just as passionately strong as your own. We believe that you are wrong. We believe that everyone is wrong. Athiests, Christians, Jews, Hindus, Pagans. We believe in a wholly unique set of ideals that consists of only our own beliefs and relies on our own self-mediation.
We are not waiting for you to confront us with the truth and show us the way to true happiness.
Good luck with that though.
Friday, October 10, 2008
This I know - because the bible tells us so
That's right folks, Jesus loves us.
So the most appropriate reaction is to, of course, love him back.
Just like a victim loves it's abuser, we shall do this because we're told to not only take it with a smile but tell them how much we enjoy it.
That's beside the point though, the bible tells us that yes, Jesus loves me.
The bible also tells us to stone our sons for disobedience, submit all will to our husbands and give up our servants as sex slaves once we can no longer produce children.
The bible's a little ambiguous like that.
So the most appropriate reaction is to, of course, love him back.
Just like a victim loves it's abuser, we shall do this because we're told to not only take it with a smile but tell them how much we enjoy it.
That's beside the point though, the bible tells us that yes, Jesus loves me.
The bible also tells us to stone our sons for disobedience, submit all will to our husbands and give up our servants as sex slaves once we can no longer produce children.
The bible's a little ambiguous like that.
Wednesday, October 8, 2008
What if god was one of us?
It's such a good question, I made a song out of it.
Oh, you say that's been done? Well I'll just do what everyone does when something like this happens - unfairly judge my competition.
What if God was one of us
Then by simple mathematics, we, the people, would be equal to god. I think the first thing I'd try is locusts. I've always had a fondness for locusts.
Just a slob like one of us
Well I'd somehow doubt the strength of conviction would be the same. Then again, nobody confronted good ol' Henry VIII about his gluttony, perhaps the fear factor would outweigh the disgust.
Just a stranger on the bus
It wouldn't be too surprising. We worship celebrities, who are just attractive strangers. However slob + stranger makes things more complicated.
Trying to make his way home
Aw, now I feel bad for the poor guy. He stopped to ask for directions and all of a sudden he's being harrassed by billions of people.
Ridiculous. My song was better. Unfortunately, now you'll never hear it. Don't worry though, god liked it. He hears everything.
Oh, you say that's been done? Well I'll just do what everyone does when something like this happens - unfairly judge my competition.
What if God was one of us
Then by simple mathematics, we, the people, would be equal to god. I think the first thing I'd try is locusts. I've always had a fondness for locusts.
Just a slob like one of us
Well I'd somehow doubt the strength of conviction would be the same. Then again, nobody confronted good ol' Henry VIII about his gluttony, perhaps the fear factor would outweigh the disgust.
Just a stranger on the bus
It wouldn't be too surprising. We worship celebrities, who are just attractive strangers. However slob + stranger makes things more complicated.
Trying to make his way home
Aw, now I feel bad for the poor guy. He stopped to ask for directions and all of a sudden he's being harrassed by billions of people.
Ridiculous. My song was better. Unfortunately, now you'll never hear it. Don't worry though, god liked it. He hears everything.
Tuesday, October 7, 2008
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